The Realities of Homesteading
*WARNING: GRAPHIC DESCRIPTIONS*
When I daydream about my perfect life, I picture happy chickens clucking at my feet, collecting fresh eggs every morning, having gardens that are overflowing with fresh vegetables, having ducks quacking at my heals, sweet bunnies hopping up every time they see me, baby chicks peeping in the brooder, maybe even a couple of goats to give us fresh milk each morning. What isn't included in my daydreaming (and is a commonly overlooked part of homesteading) is going out to the coop one day only to see a massacre before my eyes, having to clean up the corpse of baby chicks who have been trampled in the mail, a whole crop being destroyed by a pest or not growing properly, or having to put down a baby turkey. While many people pretend that the really hard part of homesteading doesn't exist, push it from their mind, and focus on the happy chicken thoughts in their head the fact of the matter is that death and loss are things that any homesteader is forced to deal with even though it may be hard.
If you raise animals, at one point or another you have to deal with the inevitable outcome of the cycle of life. When you are imagining your perfect life with all of these loving animals and blooming gardens you don't want to think about the days when a raccoon gets into your coop or when you have to make very, very hard decisions regarding the life and death of another creature. I'm just going to shed light on our experiences so far in hopes that it can give people a more realistic idea of what animal husbandry really involves and how I cope with it.
Our first loss came the first day that we started with chickens. One of the Silkie chicks- Hedwig- started acting lethargic. Since I had never raised chickens before I didn't think it was anything odd. Just a couple hours later she succumbed to coccidiosis- one of the most common chicken diseases. Immediately after I noticed the rest of the Silkies acting lethargic. Since we had lost Hedwig I knew to go to the store, get Corrid, and treat the remaining Silkies with it. They all perked up and due to the loss of the one chick I knew what to look for in order to save all of the others. Since that chick, multiple other chicks have been saved with Corrid since I knew what to be looking for and I will know what to look for always in the future. Each death on our homestead is sad, but when the death serves a serious purpose it is easier to justify. Yes, you can research chicken diseases (which I did for years before we ever got them) but until you see the symptoms with your own eyes it is honestly so hard to tell.
We have lost multiple chicks due to shipping (getting trampled, etc). One meat bird chick came to us with a genetic deformity (cross beak, missing an eye, missing some of it's head). We didn't put it down because we held out hope that it would make it (and frankly none of us wanted to have to put down a baby chick). Because of that decision, it lived a miserable two days on this earth before it died. If we had put it down it wouldn't have suffered for so long and it would have been much more humane. This has been a common occurrence- a meat bird breaks a leg and we try to nurse it back to health and it only ends up suffering longer. One thing that I have learned is that despite my tender heart it is always more humane to just suck it up and put the animal out of it's misery. One of the turkey poults came with a genetic disease that eventually led to it's leg tendons slipping so it could no longer walk or stand. We tried so hard to fix it but nothing helped. Eventually it ended up breaking it's wing and I had to immediately put it down to stop any suffering. Yes- putting down a baby turkey SUCKED. But it would have been so much worse to let it live and see it suffer everyday.
The raccoon attack was our first real massacre. 5 birds torn to shreds, 4 birds walking around (barely) with severe injuries, ranging from torn up faces/necks to some with organs spilling out. There were organs and blood and feathers everywhere and frankly it was devastating. These were my girls- whom I loved dearly. They each had a name and personality and held a special place in my heart. In that instance I had to make the quick decision- who was suffering so much that they needed to be put down? Who was well enough that they could live? When they are your second babies you really, really don't want to have to make that choice. I had to hold them as they were quickly beheaded and put out of their misery. I had the opportunity to go inside but I couldn't imagine having to leave my babies outside suffering and dying without me there to talk to them and calm them down. I soothed them and pet them and they were calm in their last minutes despite the tragedy they had gone through. Crooks was the only one that I thought MIGHT make it. I couldn't tell how deep her throat was cut and half of the skin on her face was ripped up and I could almost see her scalp on the back of her head, but she could still eat meal worms (the girls favorite treat). I bandaged her up and put her in with the Silkies, praying she would be okay in the morning. She was still alive in the morning and even laid and egg. After a few days she was acting like her self- after a few weeks she was looking like her old self. Now she is entirely healed and acts more like a very loyal, loving dog than a chicken. All of that massacre was a tough price to pay for not having a secure run and was the first experience we had with really coping with death. It was especially hard because it felt like their lives were wasted- the raccoon didn't even eat them- just had a ball killing them all. One thing that gives me solace is that I know each of my girls were loved deeply and had a wonderful life, which is not something that many chickens get to experience.
On top of teaching you valuable lessons that you can always use to improve the lives and well beings of your living animals, loss and death on the homestead teach you in a very extreme setting to appreciate the life and growth with much more intensity. Before I lost my girls Crooks was not one of my favorites- I liked her but I felt a little indifferent to her. Now she is my heart and soul and I appreciate all of the little quirks to her personality so much more. Her large brown eggs every day are much more appreciated. I strongly appreciate every single day I go out to my girls and hear them clucking away. When a crop failed one year and the next we tried something else and it bloomed so brilliantly, I appreciate it. Death is a part of life. It is really hard to think about and it is easier said than done, but you can love an animal so much and still be okay when they die. Yes, it sucks. A lot. Many people can't handle it. But if you push through the sadness and get to the other side, you will look at every day with a new set of eyes. When you know, and have seen, how tough things can be, it is very, very easy to see the absolute beauty in the small, everyday things.
In light of all of the sadness, I thought I would share a few (there are MANY, MANY more that I am not sharing) pictures that make me extremely happy and I am much more appreciative of in light of all of the loss we have experienced.
When I daydream about my perfect life, I picture happy chickens clucking at my feet, collecting fresh eggs every morning, having gardens that are overflowing with fresh vegetables, having ducks quacking at my heals, sweet bunnies hopping up every time they see me, baby chicks peeping in the brooder, maybe even a couple of goats to give us fresh milk each morning. What isn't included in my daydreaming (and is a commonly overlooked part of homesteading) is going out to the coop one day only to see a massacre before my eyes, having to clean up the corpse of baby chicks who have been trampled in the mail, a whole crop being destroyed by a pest or not growing properly, or having to put down a baby turkey. While many people pretend that the really hard part of homesteading doesn't exist, push it from their mind, and focus on the happy chicken thoughts in their head the fact of the matter is that death and loss are things that any homesteader is forced to deal with even though it may be hard.
If you raise animals, at one point or another you have to deal with the inevitable outcome of the cycle of life. When you are imagining your perfect life with all of these loving animals and blooming gardens you don't want to think about the days when a raccoon gets into your coop or when you have to make very, very hard decisions regarding the life and death of another creature. I'm just going to shed light on our experiences so far in hopes that it can give people a more realistic idea of what animal husbandry really involves and how I cope with it.
Our first loss came the first day that we started with chickens. One of the Silkie chicks- Hedwig- started acting lethargic. Since I had never raised chickens before I didn't think it was anything odd. Just a couple hours later she succumbed to coccidiosis- one of the most common chicken diseases. Immediately after I noticed the rest of the Silkies acting lethargic. Since we had lost Hedwig I knew to go to the store, get Corrid, and treat the remaining Silkies with it. They all perked up and due to the loss of the one chick I knew what to look for in order to save all of the others. Since that chick, multiple other chicks have been saved with Corrid since I knew what to be looking for and I will know what to look for always in the future. Each death on our homestead is sad, but when the death serves a serious purpose it is easier to justify. Yes, you can research chicken diseases (which I did for years before we ever got them) but until you see the symptoms with your own eyes it is honestly so hard to tell.
We have lost multiple chicks due to shipping (getting trampled, etc). One meat bird chick came to us with a genetic deformity (cross beak, missing an eye, missing some of it's head). We didn't put it down because we held out hope that it would make it (and frankly none of us wanted to have to put down a baby chick). Because of that decision, it lived a miserable two days on this earth before it died. If we had put it down it wouldn't have suffered for so long and it would have been much more humane. This has been a common occurrence- a meat bird breaks a leg and we try to nurse it back to health and it only ends up suffering longer. One thing that I have learned is that despite my tender heart it is always more humane to just suck it up and put the animal out of it's misery. One of the turkey poults came with a genetic disease that eventually led to it's leg tendons slipping so it could no longer walk or stand. We tried so hard to fix it but nothing helped. Eventually it ended up breaking it's wing and I had to immediately put it down to stop any suffering. Yes- putting down a baby turkey SUCKED. But it would have been so much worse to let it live and see it suffer everyday.
The raccoon attack was our first real massacre. 5 birds torn to shreds, 4 birds walking around (barely) with severe injuries, ranging from torn up faces/necks to some with organs spilling out. There were organs and blood and feathers everywhere and frankly it was devastating. These were my girls- whom I loved dearly. They each had a name and personality and held a special place in my heart. In that instance I had to make the quick decision- who was suffering so much that they needed to be put down? Who was well enough that they could live? When they are your second babies you really, really don't want to have to make that choice. I had to hold them as they were quickly beheaded and put out of their misery. I had the opportunity to go inside but I couldn't imagine having to leave my babies outside suffering and dying without me there to talk to them and calm them down. I soothed them and pet them and they were calm in their last minutes despite the tragedy they had gone through. Crooks was the only one that I thought MIGHT make it. I couldn't tell how deep her throat was cut and half of the skin on her face was ripped up and I could almost see her scalp on the back of her head, but she could still eat meal worms (the girls favorite treat). I bandaged her up and put her in with the Silkies, praying she would be okay in the morning. She was still alive in the morning and even laid and egg. After a few days she was acting like her self- after a few weeks she was looking like her old self. Now she is entirely healed and acts more like a very loyal, loving dog than a chicken. All of that massacre was a tough price to pay for not having a secure run and was the first experience we had with really coping with death. It was especially hard because it felt like their lives were wasted- the raccoon didn't even eat them- just had a ball killing them all. One thing that gives me solace is that I know each of my girls were loved deeply and had a wonderful life, which is not something that many chickens get to experience.
On top of teaching you valuable lessons that you can always use to improve the lives and well beings of your living animals, loss and death on the homestead teach you in a very extreme setting to appreciate the life and growth with much more intensity. Before I lost my girls Crooks was not one of my favorites- I liked her but I felt a little indifferent to her. Now she is my heart and soul and I appreciate all of the little quirks to her personality so much more. Her large brown eggs every day are much more appreciated. I strongly appreciate every single day I go out to my girls and hear them clucking away. When a crop failed one year and the next we tried something else and it bloomed so brilliantly, I appreciate it. Death is a part of life. It is really hard to think about and it is easier said than done, but you can love an animal so much and still be okay when they die. Yes, it sucks. A lot. Many people can't handle it. But if you push through the sadness and get to the other side, you will look at every day with a new set of eyes. When you know, and have seen, how tough things can be, it is very, very easy to see the absolute beauty in the small, everyday things.
In light of all of the sadness, I thought I would share a few (there are MANY, MANY more that I am not sharing) pictures that make me extremely happy and I am much more appreciative of in light of all of the loss we have experienced.
Zest, munching on a purple flower
Zamboni, before she passed away, discovering Easter eggs in her nest box
The Bee Garden, growing despite my black thumb
My first homegrown meal, chicken meat that I processed, pesto, cucumbers, and broccoli from the garden.
Crooks and Fluffy, wondering why we are interrupting egg laying
The First Egg, laid by Fluffy, Norbert, or Winky
Petting Baby Bunnies, happiness
Maple and Sugar, enjoying grass for the first time
Do not get me wrong, homesteading brings immense happiness. You feel in your bones that you are doing what you are meant to do- provide for your family and produce your own food in the most humane way possible. You can love every single animal dearly. The image you have in your head is true. Just be aware that sometimes there are dark days and you have to make hard choices. It is all a part of homesteading. But how can you ever truly appreciate the good times without knowing what it is like to deal with the bad? I will end this long post with a quote that I find very relevant.
"Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light."
-Dumbledore
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